House of Tequila

Spanish Fly...

Or flies, as was the case throughout my recent Spanish holiday, having killed a genocidal amount of the little winged bastards whilst trying to sleep at night.  I came back just over a week ago, having rented a villa near Marbella with my fellow lothario Mr Christian Denning of Denning & Denning, Mr Romance, and last but by no means least, the notorious Marc Denning, senior member and founder of Denning & Denning.

The following photos are a small selection of those taken by me using my flashy new(ish) phone.  Some were too explicit or disturbing to be included, and could lead to the confiscation of this computer.  And if you were wondering after seeing these, yes we did throw the dog in the pool.  You'll see what I mean:

Yes, the pool did come with it's own two built-in pasty Brits...

Holding negotiations in the pool were, in order of appearance, Mr C Denning & Mr Coco Romance (you think I'm kidding about his name?...)

 Negotiations over, we agreed to smoke cigars and drink beer by the 1 litre bottle.  Myself and Mr Trophy Man himself, Christian Denning.

A strange appearance by the real Marc Denning, framed by the mountains surrounding our villa.  He had an asthma attack or something shortly after...

Poor sod.  The Real Marc Denning after his 'asthma attack' in the mountains, which actually turned out to be a combination of too much alcohol, too much sun, and a cold which decided to manifest itself after three days of hot weather!

Our loyal servant was known as Lloyd, the non-neutered hound with enormous leathery balls, which was included free of charge with the villa.  Quite expectedly, knowing the nearest female to be a fair distance away, the inevitable happened...

Coco Romance raped Lloyd.

On a less incriminating note, Mr Romance did manage to behave most of the time, and delivered a cracking bit of Spanish sausage time and time again.

This here is Ricardo, the quintessential Spanish waiter, planning to stick his dick in our beer when we're not looking...

An even rarer appearance by myself, in the fine company of Mr Romacnce and my fellow Trophy Man Christian.  The food was nearly as good as the beer, and that was only because Ricardo never put his dick in the Paella (allegedly).

Myself and Mr C again, in a bar that we'll never visit again, and with damn good reason.  It was shit.

Having found a better place to drink, the mood for this particular night was somewhat more energetic.  First time in my life I had to say in Spanish 'No more glue for these two por favor...'

More restaurant based shennanigans, this time revolving around bread, but as always accompanied by gallons of San Miguel...

Mr Romance during one of the many 'morning afters', when he would normally wake up at 5am and lie outside until the sun came out, just to get the most out of it, and stay out until sunset!  He burnt like a witch...

Aaaah, this one brings a tear to the eye.  Believe it or not, this is a roundabout in the town where we stayed, Alahurin de la Torre.  The council have too much money...

And of course, no beach holiday is complete without a beach!  that's as far as we got to sea water.  Too many sea monsters in there, man.  Plus we had a private pool.  Fuck the sea!

Our last day, with a collective photo of The Real Marc Denning, Trophy Man Christian Denning and Coco Romance, enjoying a non-alcoholic drink and some last minute sunshine before heading back home.  Oh, and for the record...

We did throw Lloyd in the pool!

I hope you enjoyed the photo-tour (condensed and heavily edited) of my recent visit to the Iberian lands.  I'll update again when my friends develop (get with the times, people) their photos (some underwater ones are promised), and promise to divulge more of the compromising images contained in my phone.

Until then, smoke 'em if you got em...

Oh, and for the record, in case you were wondering, all of these were taken using a SonyEriccsson K750i.  The photo quality is amazing, especially with good light.  If you're considering one, i'd say get it, if only for the 2 megapixel camera!!

27.9.05 21:13